I missed Accepted the first time it came around… mostly because it had a PG-13 rating… which usually turns me off in a comedy. A PG-13 ghost story? That works sometimes. A PG-13 comedy? That’s about as rare as meeting a girl who wants to watch scat porn while she blows your buddies… so something like 1 in 20. Anyway, this comedy is a loser-ific forerunner of today’s awktards. It’s the missing link between films like Revenge of the Nerds, where the nerds were super geeky, and Super Bad, where everyone is an awktard. Accepted’s nerds aren’t geeky or awkward… but realistic losers, which is part of the charm of the film, and I can only wish that in the future, producers, writers, and directors will find their way back to the land of the realistic loser.

In the movie, a group of kids, led by Justin Long, discover that they didn’t get accepted into college. Rather than simply going to community college, Justin Long, here playing the unfortunately named Bartleby Gaines, decides to create a completely fake college. Things are going great… until more and more people start to show up thanks to an error in their fake website. Losers of all types appear on their doorstep eager to be accepted into college. Now Bartleby must figure out how to keep his ruse going, while not wasting everyone’s money and time. Of course, he’ll face some opposition from the upper-crust school across the way… populated by muscle-headed frat boys. It’s a stock “losers vs. the world” type of deal, which will make the less fortunate feel good about themselves.

For a first film, Accepted is a feather in the cap for director Steve Pink. While there’s nothing great going on here, Pink hands in a run-of-the-mill turn as a director. The shots aren’t all that creative and Pink allows his characters to run the show, which is a good idea, because this plot is a little too light, fluffy, and ridiculous to have any legs on its own. The fact is Pink never gets in the way, but he doesn’t necessarily spice up the dish either.

The cast is easily the best part of the film. There is a nice array of comedians and role players in the film. Justin Long, since doomed to over-exposure backlash thanks to those insipid Mac commercials, hands in a performance that is pretty good. He doesn’t make the character a legendary college trickster, but he manages to base his character in a more realistic realm. Jonah Hill provides a nice-level of fat guy humor… which is basically getting made fun of, picked on, and embarrassed for the majority of the movie. Other standouts in the cast include Lewis Black as a foul-mouthed, anti-establishment dean and Joe Hursley as a security guard turned rocker.

The humor in Accepted is infantile at best, and the sheer amount of shit jokes is unrivaled in cinema history… mostly because the school is called the South Harmon Institute of Technology… or S.H.I.T. This leads to a buttload of sight gags and immature one-liners… which despite my penchant for high-brow humor, still had me laughing. Who would have thought? The Vocabulariast… laughing at shit jokes. Unheard of.

Accepted is an entertaining time, but it is forgettable. The specifics of the film fade from the mind like the last time you got caught masturbating. I brought it back didn’t I? You nasty bastard. If you need to distract yourself from the shame of getting caught pleasuring yourself, Accepted is a fine film to do it with.

Final Synopsis: It’s not something I would buy, but if it came on TV, I would watch it. At the very least, you should give it one watch… if you can handle some low-brow humor.

Points Lost: -1 for a weak plot, -1 for average comedy direction, -1 for some flat jokes, -1 for a level of realism that wouldn’t fly in a fairy tale

Lesson Learned: Dumb people don’t know that community college exists.

Burning Question: Who wouldn’t want a degree in Bullshitting?

Accepted
6/10

Tags: 2006, accepted movie review, adam herschman, ask me about my wieners, blake lively, columbus short, comedy, Diora Baird, glen wads, joe hursley, jonah hill, Justin Long, latest movie reviews, lewis black, loser comedy, slacker comedy, steve pink