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Assault on Precinct 13 is something of a cult classic, and while it certainly has some things going for it, one can’t help but wonder if it’s a cult classic because it’s directed by John Carpenter or if it actually deserves the moniker. Carpenter’s modernized western is a film that is both brutal and amazingly simply. The simplicity of Carpenter’s Assault on Precinct 13 gives it an almost otherworldly feel, as if it is a stepping stone to the wonderfully dystopic world of Escape from New York.

In the film, a cop named Bishop is sent to an old police station to basically be a caretaker for the evening. As the station has been relocated to a new place, he finds himself in the company of a cop and a couple of dames. Meanwhile, a gang of hooligans is tooling about looking for someone to kill. They settle their sights on an unwitting ice cream man and a little girl. When one of their number is chased down and murdered, the gang follows the offender to the police station, where they set up a siege that would have any normal human being squirting brown soft-serve in their shorts. Bishop, with the help of a couple of criminals and some worthless chicks, must hold out until help arrives… while gunning down mindless thug after mindless thug. It’s a premise that works for the most part, even though some of the technical elements of the film aren’t as good as they could have been.

John Carpenter’s directing in this film isn’t typical of his work. The film is a little rough around the edges and it lacks the trademark pacing of a John Carpenter film. The look of the film is a little cheap, and not everything works the way it’s planned. The biggest flaw in Carpenter’s game with Assault on Precinct 13 is the ending of the movie. It leaves a little to be desired, it’s wholly unsatisfactory, and it leaves the characters in a bland place. Some of the plot elements and logic in the film don’t work, but for the budget and the time period, Carpenter’s film is still pretty damn good.

The one huge problem with the film is the acting. It’s damn atrocious. With the exception of Austin Stoker as Bishop, the rest of the cast is miserable. Darwin Joston, who plays Wilson, a condemned criminal who is supposed to be a badass, comes off more like a functioning retard with a hardcore cigarette addiction. Joston’s line delivery and lack of charisma drags down half the film’s driving force as Austin Stoker is left to carry the film by himself. The rest of the cast isn’t any better.

The best thing about Assault on Precinct 13 is its violence. The film is covered in bullet hits, and so many people die that it almost becomes overkill. There are plenty of solid kills to be found within the film… and even the death of a little girl with an ice cream cone. The violence is fast, quick, and effective, and the fact that Carpenter doesn’t linger on it makes the film feel a little more realistic.

Assault on Precinct 13 isn’t the type of movie that you need to own in your own collection, but it’s definitely something you should see at least once, even if it is only to see one of the first products from horror great John Carpenter. The film exists as a document showing the raw John Carpenter, the young and streamlined Carpenter. If there’s one film in Carpenter’s repertoire that feels like a piece of art rather than just a good-times, enjoyable flick, it’s Assault on Precinct 13.

Final Synopsis: It’s worth a watch. But give it a rent before you decide to buy the thing.

Points Lost: -1 for a shitty ending, -1 for bad acting, -1 for the dude that becomes comatose

Lesson Learned: Always have cigarettes to give out.

Burning Question: How do you convince some guy to rush into a police station where people with guns have killed 20 or so people… when he is only armed with a crowbar?

Assault on Precinct 13
7/10

Tags: 1976, action, adventure, austin stoker, child murder, darwin joston, gangs, john carpenter, killer gang, latest movie reviews, nancy kyes, nancy loomis, random violence, recent3, tony burton