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Movie Cynics Top Lists. Select a list below:

Top Ten Hints That Sam Emerson (Corey Haim in the Lost Boys) Might Be Gay » Top Ten Hints That Sam Emerson (Corey Haim in the Lost Boys) Might Be Gay A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"With the release of the straight to DVD sequel to the 1987 classic The Lost Boys hitting shelves recently, I took another look at the original film, only to find something that my gaydar-less, pre-pubescent mind couldn't comprehend when I was younger. There is a good supply of proof indicating that Sam Emerson might have been gay... a fact which blew my mind, not because I have anything against gay people, but because of how subtly Joel Schumacher infiltrated ignorant young minds with a gay character that America would come to know and love. Check out the list, and see if you disagree."
No Do-Overs: Ten Horror Movie Remakes That Are Going to Suck » No Do-Overs: Ten Horror Movie Remakes That Are Going to Suck A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"Written by Troglodyte: The current string of horror movie remakes will sit like the remnants of a bad herpes infection in the history of the genre. Films such as 'House of Wax' and 'Prom Night' descend to depths so abysmal that it's almost possible to believe there is some dark hand guiding their creation. In reality, they're probably just the product of some coked-up Hollywood producer's attempt to pork a cast member from a WB family sitcom by promising her a movie deal, which is the only logical explanation for any of these shit piles to exist. Here are some of the upcoming contenders in the Horror Movie Special Olympics, tottering out on the field over the next few years for our guilty entertainment. If you like Troglodyte's list, check some of his other writing at http://zombieunderground.net"
Brick Bardo's Worst Part 3's Ever » Brick Bardo's Worst Part 3's Ever A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"People often say that the 'Third Time is the charm,' but in the world of movies this is not the case at all. Sure there are some good part 3's, such as Rocky III, Karate Kid Part 3, Back To The Future Part 3, Death Wish 3 and Superman III but typically part 3's are often the worst of the worst crap and sometimes they are the worst things that could possibly happen to a franchise such as my list right here."
Bobby Bless' Top Ten Comic Book/Graphic Novel Movies » Bobby Bless' Top Ten Comic Book/Graphic Novel Movies A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"With Hollywood out of fresh ideas for movies, they turned to what they believed would be the next best thing, that is, to make a comic book into a movie. Truth be told, they only decided to do this because the executives know that they need franchises to help their studio make a fuck load of money. So, over the years, the public has been littered with a plethora of comic book movies. Some have been hits and many have just been utter failures that hurt the genre all together. I think I should make it clear that this particular Top Ten list of comic book movies are comic book movies that I believe have been the best over the years. But, if you don’t agree with some of the choices, then feel free to let me know what you think. Another note, this list is coming from what many would consider to be a fan boy, which in many cases I am. But, in my defense, I wouldn’t consider myself one of those crazy fan boy fuckers that has to dress up like the character or has to cry to the movie studios and beg them to throw in a certain character or two (i.e. Venom in Spider-Man 3). So, I would rather consider myself more like a purist fan boy, one that would rather see the studios take their time with the projects and actually stick to the source material. Yes, I know that a lot of these characters need to be modernized and I’m totally fine with that, but, I don’t want the studios to rush the movies and the characters just to make money. Notable Mention: Even though I didn’t put it on my list, I believe that Sin City is stylistically well done and warrants its sequels. However, the problem with it is that the best characters in the movie, Marv and Hartigan die, and that blows. "
10 Movies That Really Piss Off Brick Bardo » 10 Movies That Really Piss Off Brick Bardo A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"There are, of course, bad movies and then there are the ones that really annoy us. I listed what I considered to be the worst movies ever made in my last list; however, this list is composed of the movies that really rub me the wrong way. These films are so bad they just make you angry, and unlike a boring bad movie that you don't give two craps about, these movies are the type of films that brings out your deepest seeds of hatred. Here are the 10 most annoying films of all time..."
You Are a Precious Snowflake: Movies That Make You Think You Are Unique » You Are a Precious Snowflake: Movies That Make You Think You Are Unique A Movie Cynics original top 7 list
"Written by Troglodyte: Everybody thinks that they're special. We all want to believe that we have some great talent or some destiny that we were meant for and all we need is the right opportunity to show the world how great we really are. Admittedly, this illusion is easier to bear than the reality, which is that we are a congregation of cells that follow a basic pattern and that the vast bulk of us will never be remembered for anything by future generations once we slip off the mortal coil. Most of our talents involve things we did when drunk ('I can projectile vomit four whole feet. Will I use it for good or evil?'). We like entertainment that reinforces our concept of uniqueness and we keep alive the myth that anyone can become someone of merit, ignoring the fact that most people who make it in this society do so by either years of hard work or dumb fucking luck. Here are some movies that would have us believe otherwise: If you like the list, check out more of Troglodyte's writing at his own website: www.zombieunderground.net"
Troglodyte's Auteurs of Shit: Ten Awful Directors You Don't Know by Name » Troglodyte's Auteurs of Shit: Ten Awful Directors You Don't Know by Name A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"Film making is a collective project. It involves a large group of people from many trades working toward the singular goal of telling a story in flickering light. Yet each film is the vision of one person, an individual storyteller who guides the actions of others. This is often the director, the one at the helm of the project, who sculpts from these various materials the final product of their dreams. And then there are these assholes. While some directors are so bad they earn some fleeting form of recognition for their unbridled suckery, this group is entirely unmemorable. They work insidiously, creating movies so profoundly mediocre you don't even want to think of them. They are the directors who do the hard, grueling work of bringing the average quality of cinema down to the level of dried monkey shit. To check out more of Troglodyte's writing go to http://www.zombieunderground.net"
Brick Bardo's Top Ten Worst Movies of All Time » Brick Bardo's Top Ten Worst Movies of All Time A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"When it comes to movies, few terms have ever been as broad as 'The Bad Movie.' The bad movie can encompass the likes of Jean-Claude Van Damme movies, be reserved for hilarious clunkers like Mommie Dearest or The Wicker Man remake, and of course apply to the typical bad movie, which is neither interesting or hilarious. The last category of bad movies are titles that are so bad that even camp fans are advised to steer clear. We'll start the bidding with an obvious choice..."
The Top Ten Post-Apocalyptic Movies » The Top Ten Post-Apocalyptic Movies A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"There are all sorts of lists out there talking about post-apocalyptic movies. However, most of them are just fucking wrong. Some of my fellow movie critics should go out and study their Latin prefixes, because the prefix "post" would imply that the film takes place after the apocalypse, not while it's happening. The apocalyptic movie, such as Dawn of the Dead, while great, is an entirely different beast than the post-apocalyptic film. The post-apocalyptic film concerns itself with detailing how humanity has survived amidst the crumbling bastions of society, while the apocalyptic film merely chronicles the crumbling of society itself. While one is concerned with hope and redemption the other is concerned with destruction and chaos... it's a slight difference and the major reason why you won't see a great movie like Dawn of the Dead on the list."
Top Ten Vampire Films » Top Ten Vampire Films A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"This is a list of the top ten vampire films. Some of you may find that the list is a little skewed in perspective, eschewing many of the older vampire films, foreign vampire films, and the ever popular, but mind numbingly dull Hammer vampire films. Many of your favorites may not be on the list because, I personally, as the god behind the keyboard, don't value the romantic nature of the vampire, and appreciate them more for the destruction and chaos that they provide."
The Vocabulariast's Top Twenty of 2007 » The Vocabulariast's Top Twenty of 2007 A Movie Cynics original top 20 list
"Every movie reviewer in the world is required to put up a top ten list at the end of the year. Why a top ten list? Because that’s about how many movies most movie reviewers watch through the course of the year. Not so with me. In under 9 months I have watched and reviewed more than 500 movies… sadly, most of them were shit, but that’s why it’s called Movie Cynics, not Movie Optimists. To show my wicked movie review skills, here are my top twenty flicks of 2007… meaning movies that actually came out in 2007 that you can actually go out and find in theaters or on DVD shelves. That means shit like There Will Be Blood aren’t on the list because, they still aren’t widely available. Fuck them for their Oscar pandering anyways."
The Top Ten Halloween Drinking Games » The Top Ten Halloween Drinking Games A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"Nothing goes together like Halloween, great horror movies, and getting ripped off your ass. The combination is a perfect recipe for good times, and except for getting it on with a love puppet, there's nothing I would rather do. So in the spirit of the only holiday that really means anything to me, here are the top ten drinking games for Halloween. These games are designed to have you barfing in your bag of candy by the end of the night, so make sure you wear your superhuman alcoholic costume for Halloween."
The Top Twenty Movie Tough Guys » The Top Twenty Movie Tough Guys A Movie Cynics original top 20 list
"This is a list of my favorite tough guys from movies. The list is about characters, not actors. So even though I think Brad Pitt is a pussy, it's no surprise to find that Tyler Durden is on the list. Many of our older readers may be disappointed that there aren't more entries from older movies... but anyone that has ever fought someone or kicked some ass knows that the shit that John Wayne was doing back in the day looks pretty retarded compared to a real fight, but that's how they did it back then. Plus, as Miller said, "John Wayne was a fag." The only criteria is that you have to be tough... pulling a trigger just isn't enough, which is why there is no entry from action hero juggernaut Arnold Schwarzenegger."
The Top Ten Little Known Facts About Michael Myers » The Top Ten Little Known Facts About Michael Myers A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"This top ten list is dedicated to the ubiquitous mass murderer Michael Myers who has starred in seven films to date (not including the upcoming Rob Zombie remake). Despite the fact that Michael Myers was institutionalized at the age of 6, he has developed quite a range of skills for having spent most of his time in a mental hospital, a coma, or the basement of his old house. The following is a list of some of Michael Myers' perplexing attributes."
Top Ten Worst Action Movie Vehicles of All Time » Top Ten Worst Action Movie Vehicles of All Time A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"For those of you not familiar with what an action movie vehicle is, it's a movie that tries to take a no name person and builds a movie around them. In the action genre, this technique was sported throughout the eighties in an attempt to cash in on the success of already successful action stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis. These movies featured people that could do amazing stunts, but not act, people that could act but who can't do amazing stunts... and more often than not, people that could do neither. Some action stars found success in the footsteps of Arnold, Sly, and Bruce, most notably Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme... but for the most part, the movies were ridiculous, relying on the premise that fans of action movies are retarded and will fall for anything. Read on and you will see."
The Top Ten Punk Rock Movies » The Top Ten Punk Rock Movies A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"These are the top ten movies that feature punks prominently. That means that it doesn't simply have one scene where a punk rock guy shows up. The list is also free of documentaries, focusing on narrative film, so you won't find The Filth and The Fury, End of the Century, or Punk: Attitude on the list. These movies kick ass and completely embody the spirit of punk rock."
Top Ten Movies Quentin Tarantino Beats Off To » Top Ten Movies Quentin Tarantino Beats Off To A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"Throughout many of Quentin Tarantino's films you will find many veiled and not veiled references to movies that he loves and pays homage to. This is the top ten list for those movies that Tarantino references."
Top Ten Zombie Movies » Top Ten Zombie Movies A Movie Cynics original top 10 list
"This is a list of the top ten zombie movies of all time. The criterion being that the main conflict of the story is about zombies and the movie has to be good."