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Zombies and high school kids… it just doesn’t mix. Look at Idle Hands if you need a comparison. Dance of the Dead is very similar in tone to Idle Hands, even though it is a little more serious. Borrowing heavily from a variety of zombie flicks, Gregg Bishop’s Dance of the Dead is a pop-light foray into the world of pubescence and the undead. The film will appeal to high school kids and douche bags… who are basically high school kids un-evolved. For those of us that expect some stones from a zombie flick, you’re not going to find it here, and despite the film’s R-rating, it still feels lighter than playing a game of Candyland with a four-year-old girl.

The film follows a group of high school kids as their town is taken over by zombies from a graveyard. The sci-fi geek, the cheerleader, the tough guy, the loser, and the good girl must fight their way through the zombie hordes and save the town from complete and utter destruction… because we all know high school kids are capable of doing exactly that… even though their inability to attain quality haircuts would say otherwise. The twats are joined by their coach as they shoot, bash, and dismember their way to the high school, where the zombies have gathered to dance for some reason. Luckily, they bring along one of the lamest “punk” bands in movie history to enthrall the zombies with a pussified version of one of my favorite Youth of Today cuts. It’s a standard issue story with a shitload of plot holes and silly moments, but it works for the most part. Just don’t ask yourself question like “Where are all the adults?” and “Aren’t there any cops in this town?”

Gregg Bishop’s film is flawed to be sure, but he manages to get a fair amount of stuff right. While the day cinematography is too crisp and feels soap opera-ish, Bishops night cinematography is excellent. The director also does a good job of humanizing the characters and making them seem realistic. I wanted to kill most of the characters, so you know he captured the essence of the high school kid. The way in which Bishop films the violence and the zombies is cartoonish and fun, but never really that disturbing. There are a handful of memorable moments in the film, especially the scene where a group of kids are running from zombies who are erupting from the ground. If only the majority of the film were as memorable as that one scene.

Dance of the Dead sports a variety of no-name actors and actresses, most of which are as interchangeable as a set of Legos. None of the characters are that interesting, so the needless amounts of character development gets in the way of the zombie carnage. High school love? Who gives a fuck? Show me some fuckers getting eaten. None of the actors does that great of a job in their roles, so the pointless character development worsens the deal.

As far as special effects go, the film is filled with some solid moments of gore and some less than stellar makeup work. The zombie make-ups are cheap as are some of the practical effects, including a shitload of fake-looking prosthetic limbs, that are funny, but not necessarily entertaining. There is a rather large body count, but there are quite a few cutaway moments where not all the violence is shown, but for a smaller-budget flick, it’s pretty god. The scale of the film combined with the budget probably worsens the situation.

Dance of the Dead is zombie entertainment for the braindead. There’s nothing truly interesting going on here. The interpersonal relationships of the high school kids are clichéd and generic, keeping the zombie stuff from being as entertaining as it could have been. The film has no edge and is like an episode of Saved by the Bell with zombies thrown in. Where’s Screech to pull off a Dirty Sanchez on the cheerleader? Maybe that would have livened the film up a bit.

Final Synopsis: Dances… zombies… not the best combination. Dance of the Dead is alright, but it will disappear from your brain faster than Night of the Living Dorks. If you don’t know what that film is, then you’re lucky. Give it a watch, just to say you have. Then bust the balls of anyone who thinks its “great.”

Points Lost: -1 for lame characters, -1 for too much character development… it’s like developing a picture of an empty chalkboard… why are you wasting your time, -1 for some shitty zombie make-ups, -1 for cutting away from too much gore and giving the film a tone that is far too light

Lesson Learned: Yes… good punk rock songs can be made lame.

Burning Question: Where are all the parents and why do none of these kids worry about their families?

Dance of the Dead
6/10

Tags: 2008, ghost house underground, gregg bishop, high school, horror comedy, horror movie, indie, latest movie reviews, low-budget, recent, zombie, zombies