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There is an interesting story that coincides with this movie. Well interesting for fans of bad movies, but anyway this movie Deceit was made on a weekend right after Albert Pyun wrapped up shooting Cyborg. It seems that Pyun was unhappy with the direction Cyborg was going and so he made this pet project on a weekend with a small cast and some of the sets from Cyborg. Indeed most of the movie takes place in the set from Cyborg’s climax, where you’ll see the fan and the chains, you also see footage of the factory where Van Damme confronts the pirates. Anyway, the truth of the matter is that Jean-Claude Van Damme and Sheldon Lettich re-edited Cyborg to their vision. Frankly a vision that was successful and enjoyable in my opinion, Pyun’s ideas are quite disastrous here.

It is also said in interviews with Pyun that the movies that are closest to his “Vision” are Down Twisted, Brain Smasher:A Love Story, Mean Guns, and this. Now I didn’t see Down Twisted, but I did see the others and, frankly, one is shocked that Cyborg, Nemesis, the Kickboxer sequels and Sword and The Sorcerer aren’t listed, as these are the man’s most competent and fun efforts. Albert Pyun is insane if he believes that this vision is one worth watching… especially in the case of Deceit.

The movie starts out with a title card that says if you don’t read said thing you won’t be able to make sense of the rest of the movie; problem is, I did read it and I still wasn’t able to make heads or tails of what this movie was about. The movie is apparently about aliens, who can only inhabit dead people, who are going to rob the earth of its resources, destroy it, and leave. In the mean time, while waiting for the explosion said alien robbers want to get laid and so they try extremely hard to get an earth woman to get it on with them; however, they refuse to rape her because they have a stigma about forcing sex. Of course killing billions of people is not above them, but raping a single earthling, well that’s just a bit too much for our alien robbers. Logically this movie makes no sense whatsoever.

But there’s more! There is also a crystal that can make someone’s fantasy come true, and when this crystal is used it alerts the alien cops where the criminals are. Of course, this leads to some would be comic lines with our alien heroes trying hard to get the woman in the film to sleep with them. Then there’s all kinds of talk of the plot that makes no sense, then in the climax the alien cops inhabit some people the alien robbers killed and a standoff ensues. I list what happens in the movie, because I was honestly baffled by this movie. I mean if you’re going to try and get laid, why not just find another chick and throw this one in the gutter? Why not go to bar and try to pick up really drunk chicks, or give the girl in question ecstasy? Do something, anything, except beg her for hours on hours to please let you pull her pants down.

And yet the movie begins fairly well, with a Hitcher-like car ride, in which the hitchhiker, our female character, becomes more and more mysterious and freaky. Had this perhaps been played as a thriller with the aliens hunting the woman because she could tip off people of her location because she got her hand on this crystal fantasy maker, you would have a movie. Endless sequences of two guys begging a decent looking, though hardly gorgeous, woman for sex is just tiresome. Hell, this just brings back memories of Prom.

I know the movie was shot really quick, but couldn’t they have come up with something better than this? I mean a crystal that makes fantasies come true? Horny alien criminals? A suicide by drinking bleach? Who would think this would be a good idea to film? Let’s face it, Albert Pyun is like nuclear energy, (ironic considering his filmography consists of several post-apoclyptic flicks) when harnessed correctly the results can be quite fun (Cyborg, Nemesis, Kickboxer 2-4 and Bloodmatch), but when left with nobody to tell him that said idea is retarded, that movie makes no sense and the only thing done competently is the staging martial arts battles surrounded by minimal narrative. Just like nuclear power, he can be as dangerous to a viewer as the meltdown of some of his movies.

Deceit is a bad movie. Easily one of Pyun’s worst and yet I give it a 3 as opposed to a 2, because of the humor one can find in spotting the sets from Cyborg, as well as the fact that the movie is so bizarre it’s almost worth watching.

The Burning Question: If you’re about to blow up the earth but want to get laid first, why not scout the stripclubs or bars instead of begging a mildly attractive chick?

Deceit
3/10

Tags: 1989, action, albert pyun, alien, aliens, latest movie reviews, quirky, recent, sci-fi, science fiction, shitty movies