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For those of us that grew up in the ‘80s, there was no greater studio than Full Moon Pictures, creators of such quirky and beloved horror franchises as Puppet Master, Trancers, and Subspecies. It seems like such a long time ago, and when watching Evil Bong 2: King Bong, one can’t help but feel nostalgic for the old days… then some ghetto-talking bong sitting on a stump in South America has to go and ruin it. How a studio could go from making something like Puppet Master to making the goofy and disposable Evil Bong series is beyond me, but this is the type of stuff that Full Moon is making today.

The film reunites the characters from the first film… which thankfully doesn’t need to be watched due to a nice 7 minute recap at the beginning of the film. It turns out that even though the characters defeated the evil bong in the first film, they are still suffering from the side effects. One dude is interminably horny, one dude has an incurable case of the munchies that turns him into a fat ass, and another dude passes out at every opportunity. The characters, with the help of their nerdy friend, enlist the help of a bud-smoking delivery dude to figure out where the bong originated. The group heads off to South America where they discover a chick, some weed, and an evil bong protected by a group of topless chicks known as the Poontang Tribe. Together, the group must defeat the evil bong. In short… it’s a slice of ridiculous pie laced with pot.

Evil Bong 2 is utterly ridiculous… so ridiculous that you’ll alternate between laughing at it and with it. This isn’t high brow stuff by any means, and you’ll almost feel guilty for laughing at something that is so stupid. The humor is definitely uneven and there are long stretches where nothing funny happens. Perhaps the funniest moment of the movie is the song that runs during the end credits, sung by King Bong himself.

The film is poorly directed and has the stink of cheapness written all over it. From the corny pot leaf transitions to the inability of the actors and actresses to do anything that doesn’t involve them walking around one static environment, nothing quite works on the director front. Everyone feels too staged and too stilted and the only thing that is done right is the nudity in the film… of which, there are plenty of boobs after the first half of the film. For an 80 minute movie, it feels insanely long, and most of this is due to poor pacing from director Charles Band. It’s clear that Band was just going through the motions… because this is basically a stoner movie for the dumbest of the dumb, and when you’re entertaining stoners, you really don’t have to try that hard.

The cast of the film is bad. No one here is worth mentioning by name. Everyone is uniformly terrible, and while this creates some unintentional humor, it lowers the film quite a bit. When your best actor is a satellite character who spouts profanities, you know you’ve cast the film poorly. But at least some of the chicks are hot.

The review may seem a little harsh, but I’m not a stoner so it gets no pass from me on that account. I’m also bemused at the way Full Moon continues to make garbage like this instead of good old fashioned horror flicks like they used to. Despite all of this, Evil Bong 2 isn’t a terrible movie… it just doesn’t have much going for it… but if somehow you manage to make it to the end of the movie, you’re in for a damn treat when the credits roll.

Final Synopsis: This movie stinks like Oklahoma. Don’t watch it… unless you’re really really high.

Points Lost: -1 for bad humor, -1 for being stupid, -1 for poor acting, -1 for annoying ghetto voices on the bongs, -1 for poor directing, -1 for bad acting

Lesson Learned: Throw away the pieces of an evil bong after you have destroyed it.

Burning Question: What does Oklahoma smell like?

Evil Bong II: King Bong
4/10

Tags: 2009, boobs, charles band, full moon pictures, horror, horror comedy, killer bong, latest movie reviews, marijuana, nudity, recent3, smells like oklahoma, stoner comedy, stoner movie, stoners, the poontang tribe