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I like crazy weird shit… I just do. Maybe it’s because I’m crazy or weird… or maybe it’s because I’m great in the sack. Who knows? Whatever the case, when I saw the poster and then the trailer for this indie flick, I knew I had to check it out. While from a critical standpoint, there is a shit-ton wrong with Goth Kill, from a crazy and weird standpoint, I loved every minute of this perverse little film. Its barely contained jibes at the hypocritical and douche goth set were enough to keep me entertained as twats in capes did magic, people in white face makeup spent their time looking serious, and the occasional chick got whipped. It’s all in good fun, and if you’re going to enjoy Goth Kill, that is the mindset you have to approach it with.

The film is about an evil bastard named Nick Dread… a cross between Rob Halford from Judas Priest and Rik Mayall from The Young Ones. Nick Dread loves killing him some motherfuckers… and he’s been doing it for centuries, all so he can score himself a killer kingdom in hell full of losers that he can torture. His plans go awry when his female accomplice is run down in the street, holding the only way to resurrect his recently executed soul. A group of goth douches who fancy themselves vampires get a hold of the book, and unknowingly let loose Nick Dread from his lonely place in hell. What follows is an orgy of violence and fun.

I’m not going to lie… this film is bad in certain parts. The look of the film is cheap, the acting is bad, and the story is way too full of long-winded speeches that don’t so much entertain as much as they threaten to dry up your brain. But when the film is popping, Goth Kill is everything that you could want in a bad movie. There are random naked chicks dressed like devils, jiggly pierced nipples, and goth twats getting murdered all over the place. Unfortunately, most of the fun parts of the movie are bookended at the beginning and end of the movie… and in the meantime we are forced to follow two uninteresting characters as they make their way into the cultural underground of New York City. Those bits aren’t anywhere near as fun.

The special features on the DVD are awesome and there are some great behind-the-scenes looks, a killer interview with director J.J. Connelly, and a nice commentary track featuring Connelly and a couple of the film’s stars. From checking out the special features, you get the feeling that Goth Kill has taken on a sort of Rocky Horror Picture Show existence. Certainly the live footage in the special features made this movie seem like more of an event than a film to be watched on its own. I only wish the DVD experience had lived up to the good times that are seen in those videos. But if you can figure out a way for topless chicks to pop up in your living room when you put a DVD in your DVD player… let me know.

As it is, Goth Kill is a solid foray into low-budget filmmaking. The process of Goth Kill is just as fascinating as the end product, and while I can’t recommend the film for everyone, the cult enthusiast will find that Goth Kill is a film that can be laughed at, enjoyed, and shared… like a midget hooker.

Final Synopsis: Goth Kill is only for cult enthusiasts and underground horror fans. No one else will be able to overlook its low-budget ethos and flaws. For me, I had some minor problems with it, but the DVD’s special features more than made up for it.

Points Lost: -1 for bad acting, -1 for some cheap looking sets, -1 for too many speeches, -1 for moving away from the awesome character of Nick Dread and boring us with the two girls, -1 for Nick Dread’s inability to wear a shirt, -1 for taking too long to kill goth people

Bonus Points: +1 for the ending torture montage… it made my mind go boom

Lesson Learned: Always look twice when you cross the road toting your book of Satanic rites.

Burning Question: Why were there douches in Hell after he killed all the goth people, but not when he first died?

Goth Kill
5/10

Tags: 2009, devil boobs, flambeaux, goth chicks, horror, indie, j.j. connelly, latest movie review, low-budget, low-budget horror, naked female devils, New Independent Film Reviews, new independent movie reviews, nudity, pierced nipples, recent3, Satan