Blood and Chocolate… I know what you’re thinking… someone’s on their period again, but nope, it’s the title of a werewolf movie. I have to say that I’m never very excited about werewolf movies. In my opinion, there hasn’t been a really good werewolf movie since An American Werewolf in London. Werewolves are like an Ewok version of vampires to me, yeah they can mess you up by biting you, they’re still fuzzy, unintelligible, and you just kind of want them to go away. After such werewolf poopfests as Cursed, An American Werewolf in Paris, and the dreadfully angsty Ginger Snaps series… I’m still waiting for a new werewolf film that is actually good. Blood and Chocolate comes close, but fails in the end.

The film is about two people that meet and start to fall for each other, one is a werewolf and the other is a human. The rest of the werewolf’s pack aren’t to keen on her dating a “meatbag” and they try to make the guy leave, but he doesn’t take the hint and there is an accident… and you can imagine what happens from there.

German director, Katja von Garnier, applies her talent and vision to the film admirably. Von Garnier’s vision is enhanced by the dreary locales that she chooses to shoot in Bucharest Romania. The city’s narrow streets and ancient looking buildings add to the ambience of the film. Garnier’s vision is both seductive and sultry, which makes the film a joy to watch.

The acting in the film is the complete opposite. The international flavor of the cast just doesn’t work in spots. Olivier Martinez, who plays the patriarch of the werewolf clan is like a spoon, he just doesn’t cut it. He seems more like a Spanish soap opera star than an actual movie actor. He has all the charisma of a stiff body builder trying to pick his underwear from out of his ass. The rest of the cast is merely serviceable, with the exception of Hugh Dancy as Aiden. Dancy appears to be the only character in the movie capable of emoting and imbuing his character with an emotional scale that is something other than bored, scared, or angry.

The special effects in this movie are ok. The werewolf transformations aren’t going to wow anyone as the people merely glow then switch to being a wolf, but that problem is handily explained away by a neat little bit of explanation. My biggest gripe about the film is that it just doesn’t bring the horror. Maybe there special effects would be good, but they only kill four or five people on screen. I’m going to need a much higher body count than that.

The werewolves themselves are cool, but not the hybrid human/wolf combinations of classic movies. Instead the werewolves of Blood and Choclate, or loup garou as they like to call themselves, turn into straight up wolves. They can still be harmed by silver and fire and the wolves in the movie are amazing. There was one scene in the movie, where I was concerned for the health of one of the wolves as they actually seemed to be gnawing on each other… but who knows, dog play always seems worse than it is… just like ass play.

The biggest drawback of the film is that it wants to be anything but a werewolf movie. Instead of capitalizing on the fact that most werewolf movies suck worse than Richard Simmons manning a glory hole, the film tries to be a soap opera that just happens to have werewolves in it. I don’t mind this approach, but it appears the brutality of the werewolf universe was forgotten in an effort to make the film emotionally significant.

Still, the movie is enjoyable to look at and the story is fairly interesting. The movie didn’t make me want to claw my eyes out, but I’m still waiting on a “good” werewolf movie.

Final Synopsis: If you love werewolf movies this one is ok, it won’t revolutionize the genre but it will give you your fix. For the average horror fan, there may be too much relationship junk and not enough violence so rent at your own risk.

Points Lost: -1 for magical werewolf clothing that disappears when characters turn into werewolves, -1 for not enough violence, -1 for lame transformation, -1 for missing out on the opportunity to make a killer werewolf movie

Burning Question: How much money in clothes do those werewolves go through in a month? Every time they change into wolves their clothes disappear.

Blood and Chocolate
6/10