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Leatherheads is an uneven film that doesn’t quite know what it is. Is it a film about football? Is it a romantic comedy? Is it a period piece? Or is it a throwback to the silly comedies of the early parts of the 20th Century? The answer is that it is a combination of all these elements, and, just as too many cocks ruin the anal boot, too many genres and stories ruin the film. That’s not to say that Leatherheads is truly terrible, it just tries to do so many things that it forgets to do any of them at a level that is truly enjoyable.

In the film, George Clooney plays Dodge Connelly, a man whose only skill is playing rough and tumble professional football. When his team folds, he finds a savior to boost ticket prices and keep him in the game, a war hero named Carter Rutherford, played by John Krasinski. Rutherford’s status as a war hero makes him wildly popular and tickets sell through the roof, but along comes an evil newspaper woman by the name of Lexie Littleton, who has a hunch that not everything is kosher with Rutherford’s war hero story. There’s a weak attempt at romantic comedy that never really pans out, mostly because of the age disparities between all of the characters and a lack of onscreen chemistry. Really… who wants to see a love triangle between a creepy old man, the hot MILF next door, and the preppy college kid down the road… not me.

The majority of the film involves characters standing around and busting people’s balls with the use of film noir slang and lingo that would have us believe that everyone in the ‘20s was a master of the comeback. Most of the film’s football scenes are generic and feel like an offshoot of the Keystone Cops silent films. The football element of the movie is uncompelling and one has to wonder if Clooney has ever watched or enjoyed football at any level, as the film shows a terrible lack of understanding of how the game is played and focuses more on the business aspects of the game. The fact that the films tries to pack so many different kinds of elements into it may have caused some of the unsatisfactory nature of the football elements.

George Clooney’s direction is fine, and a few of the humor elements in the film work rather well, not all of them, but a few. The look of the film is unique and wonderful to look at; if only the story had been just as interesting. Clooney’s pacing is a little off and the film becomes quite bland near the end of the film as the humor wanes and all the subplots are tied up with a nice little bow.

Leatherheads isn’t nearly as fascinating as it could have been and in the end it’s just too much surface level tripe to be anything special. The film’s split personality prevents it from ever maintaining any steam or momentum as it plods along through its plot like a tired hooker at three in the morning trying to pop that last handjob so she can pay off her pimp and go home. The saddest thing here is that it could be good. For people that like football, the football storylines would be excellent if they were handled well and focused on a little more. For people that want a romantic comedy, the film could have been great without such mismatched leads. For people that want a Three Stooges-like dose of slapstick, the film serves up plenty of it, but never in enough portions to satisfy. But for someone that wants a film to do a lot of different things at an average level, it’s just right.

Final Synopsis: Leatherheads has some interesting moments, but for the most part, it feels vapid and fails to entertain at a consistent level. Skip this movie as there really isn’t much to it and it’s more frustrating than anything else.

Points Lost: -1 for too many genres and themes crammed into one pot, -1 for bad chemistry, -1 for bad pacing, -1 for weak football elements, -1 for being boring at the end of the movie

Lesson Learned: Never trust a newspaper reporter.

Burning Question: Was anyone else really annoyed by the super-intrusive Coke ad?

Leatherheads
5/10

Tags: 2008, comedy, football, football movie, george clooney, john krasinski, jonathon price, latest movie review, period piece, recent, renee zellweger, shitty comedy, sports movie