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As soon as the first trailer for this thing hit the internet, I was sold. I had to see the movie that managed to put out a two minute trailer full of nothing but The Punisher killing people and cramming chair legs into people’s eye sockets. Yeah, I had my reservations, and it turns out they were warranted. The things that bothered me in the trailer popped up in the movie as well, only a little stronger than I had anticipated. These issues, like low-production values, an uncharismatic lead, and a Jigsaw character that looks slightly retarded, all mar this opus to excessive violence and revenge.

The film is a sequel to the 2004 Thomas Jane version of The Punisher… and while that movie generally sucked and I couldn’t help but laugh at how poorly miscast Thomas Jane was, Punisher: War Zone actually had me reconsidering my opinion on Thomas Jane’s performance. Ray Stevenson, a virtually nobody who I saw and enjoyed in a little movie called Outpost, isn’t anywhere near as good as Thomas Jane was… and that’s saying something. While Stevenson has the physical presence to pull off a menacing mass-murderer image, he doesn’t quite have the acting ability to make the character interesting. The film feels like a piece of cardboard splattered in explosions and gore thanks to the monotonous and unmoving performance of Stevenson.

Despite the film sucking in certain areas, it’s not for a lack of vision. Lexi Alexander’s Punisher is far closer to what the character was actually like in the comic books, and the ruthless way in which she portrays The Punisher is awesome. She basically turns The Punisher into a walking, sometimes talking, killing machine. Of course, she does drop the ball in a few departments, namely all the shitty subplots that are put into the movie. There’s no way this film should have been 103 minutes long, and the whole “Frank Castle connects with endangered little girl” subplot had me vomiting in my own hat… and then swirling my cock around in it because I was so bored.

The villains this time around are a step above the bland figure that John Travolta cut in 2004’s The Punisher. Dominic West plays Jigsaw, perhaps the best villain in The Punisher universe. It’s a shame that West appears to be miscast and that Jigsaw is basically turned into a goomba mobster covered in latex appliances that are of laughable quality. West is miscast, as are most of the people in the film, including Doug Hutchison as Lonny Bin Jim, Jigsaw’s maniacal brother. The villains are evil, but completely stereotypical, which makes the film’s murderous gluttony less cathartic and more mind-numbing than it should be.

There are a handful of great special effects pieces and the gore and bullet hits in the movie are fantastic. Add to this the sheer amount of deaths in the film, and you’ve almost got yourself a movie worth seeing. The film isn’t completely brutal, and it feels like some of the scenes have been severely cut down for later release on an un-rated DVD… of course, the amount of people interested in buying the un-rated DVD will be a lot smaller thanks to the shoddy production of the theatrical film.

I wish I could take elements from all three Punisher flicks and cram them all together, while ditching the shit that didn’t work. I’d take the look of Dolph Lundgren, the acting ability of Thomas Jane, and the brutality of this version and combine it with some actual villains that work to create the perfect Punisher flick. As it is, you’ll have to cope with this subpar effort… and hope that somewhere in the future Patrick Warburton will get a chance to play the vigilante.

Final Synopsis: This is yet another instance of a trailer looking awesome, and the movie failing to deliver. It’s not completely terrible, but it ain’t good. Hardcore Punisher fans might want to check it out, but if you’re not a hardcore fan, skip it.

Points Lost: -1 for low-production values, -1 for a shitload of miscasting, -1 for Ray Stevenson’s inability to act, -1 for turning Jigsaw into a weak ass mobster, -1 for shitty subplots

Lesson Learned: Stay away from recycling facilities.

Burning Question: Why do they hire directors who aren’t fans of the franchise? Why do most comic book adaptations have bad guys who are basically lame mobsters? Mobsters are probably the most over-used uninteresting thing you can use for a villain.

Punisher: War Zone
5/10

Tags: 2008, action, adventure, brutal, brutality, Comic Book Movie, dominic west, doug hutchison, latest movie review, lexi alexander, ray stevenson, recent, sequel, the punisher, ultra-violence, wayne knight