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Rarely does a sequel come off better than the original film… especially not when that film is the fourth part of a franchise. Sudden Impact is one of those rare instances. It is the prototypical cop movie, filled with badass lines, tons of random killings, and a performance from Clint Eastwood that would seem to be the forerunner of Schwarzenegger’s performance in Terminator.

Dirty Harry Callahan is back in this quizzically titled sequel and he is up to no good. The film is much the same as the other films, as Dirty Harry clashes with his boss, is loathed by bad dudes, and generally walks around town like he’s made from Kevlar, dispatching jamfs (jive ass motherfuckers) with more frequency than an ill-college student trying to break his jerk record. Callahan must also discover the strange goings-ons behind a series of murders where dudes are getting their balls blown off. What really matters is that Dirty Harry cruises around town in his mid-‘80s hoopties blasting motherfuckers with his gun.

This is the first and only Dirty Harry film to be directed by Clint Eastwood. While Eastwood doesn’t come close to being the superior director that he is today, Sudden Impact is a nice showcase for some of his earlier efforts. There are some poor transitions here and there, but for the most part, Eastwood does an excellent job of making himself look awesome. What he doesn’t do is hide the whip marks that accompany a man that is so clearly pussy-whipped.

This is one of six films that Clint Eastwood made with then girlfriend and good movie destroyer, Sondra Locke. I find it odd that the man who played Dirty Harry would be so obviously led around by his junk as to let this mousy piece of shit ruin his movie. She’s not even hot. I’ve seen toothless crack whores I’d rather bang. To make matters worse, Locke has all the acting skill of a lobotomy victim and Eastwood, as a director, spends way too much time on her character… creating scenes that I like to call “fast-forward material.” This is what happens when you mix your fuck-doll with your work life… you become a joke to everyone that comes in contact with you.

Thankfully, Clint Eastwood tries to make up for his lack of balls by infusing Dirty Harry with an abundance of money one-liners and killshots. This is the best Dirty Harry since Eastwood’s performance in the original, and it might even be better. The special effects and sheer amounts of pointless violence are fueled by solid (and oftentimes painful-looking) squib hits. Dirty Harry travels around town beating up red-headed lesbians, dudes with molestaches, and your stereotypical African American hoods. He even slows down long enough to take out a car full of assholes with a Molotov cocktail.

Taken as a whole, Sudden Impact is simply badass. I can only imagine how great the film could have been if they had gotten rid of Sondra Locke. Even with that abysmal scag stinking up the film the way my deuce ruins an apartment, the film still manages to work on a purely badass and idiotic level.

Final Synopsis: Sudden Impact is ridiculously fun… but you may want to fast-forward through the scenes with Locke in them. Check this out, it’s definitely vintage Dirty Harry action.

Points Lost: -1 for Sondra Locke, -1 for Clint Eastwood’s lack of balls

Lesson Learned: Don’t let your jizz depository ruin your movie.

Burning Question: If you decide to be a molester, does a dirty, pencil-thin moustache suddenly appear on your lip?

Sudden Impact
8/10

Tags: 1983, action, adventure, clint eastwood, cop movie, cop story, dirty harry, go ahead make my day, kevyn major howard, latest movie reviews, molestache, pat hingle, recent1, shot in the balls, sondra locke