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After weeks of bombardment by the film’s trailers, I was both pumped to see this flick but also turned off by the fact that the marketing campaign revolved around them pointing out the film’s Saw connection (which, in all honesty, was a smart tactic since there are a shitload of people that think the Saw series is the best thing next to fucking someone to the music you hear when you pause Battletoads). But a funny thing happened after I had mustered up the strength the deal with the Saw fanboys… I couldn’t find a theater by me that was playing the movie. Finally, after coming up short at numerous theaters, I ended up finding this flick over at a rundown movie theater that only charges 3 bucks for a movie ticket. Was the film worth the quest and the 3 bucks? In short: Fuck Yeah it was.

The Collector is about a serial killer named, you guessed it, The Collector. The Collector, who is a guy who has played way too many hours of The Incredible Machine, finds a family of worthless snobs and sets up a bunch of traps designed to dispatch the family members in a brutal manner. However, this time around, some schmuck named Arkin (Josh Stewart), who is actually there to steal shit from the family so he can pay off his wife’s debts, breaks into the house and starts fucking with his entertainment. From there on out Arkin attempts to save the family, Madeline Zima (the little girl from The Nanny) flashes her boobies and The Collector strolls around being awesome and trying to stop Arkin from fucking up his entertainment any more. This plot synopsis doesn’t really do the movie justice, but take my word for it, the film is awesome.

Marcus Dunstan, co-writer and director of the film, does a fantastic job for a first time director. His film, even though it does suffer in a few areas, has a gritty quality that works perfectly for the film. The pacing of the film is great for a movie that clocks in just under an hour and a half. The best part of Dunstan’s film is the brutality. The brutality of the film, coupled with some great make up effects, is pretty titsy. In fact, they are so brutal, that the movie makes you want to see what each trap can actually do.

The movie doesn’t have many weak spots, but there are some. The biggest problem with the movie is that it’s a generic slasher flick. The other problem I have with this flick, which sticks with the generic slasher flick problem, is that our main protagonist makes some of the most idiotic decisions ever made. Any normal human being would have bounced as soon as they got out of the house out but our hero, Arkin, decides to go back in and save a little girl just because he has a daughter. Honestly, fuck that kid.

Even with the little problems that I had with the flick, The Collector was well worth the quest and the three bucks I spent on the ticket. Dunstan’s direction is top notch and the brutality is titsy. Also, it doesn’t hurt that The Collector himself is an awesome character that, for some reason (maybe it’s because of the ass kicking track they had playing during the credits), I’d like to fight.

Final Synopsis: The movie’s awesome. As of this moment, it is my most underrated movie of ’09.

Points Lost: -1 for being a generic slasher flick, -1 for the main protagonist making dumb decisions.

Lesson Learned: Victims come in handy.

Burning Question: Would you have gone back into the house after you already got out?

The Collector (2009)
8/10

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