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You know… there was a time where the Asian ghost flick was actually a fascinating phenomenon. That time has long since passed with the success of films like The Grudge and The Ring. After watching your thirtieth or so Asian ghost flick, you find that there is less creativity within the genre than there was during the heyday of the slasher flick in America. Your typical Asian ghost flick goes something like the following: Some innocent girl (Usually one that hasn’t taken a cock in the guts yet.) starts seeing shit. It turns out, there is some mystery involving the girl and her friends. A creepy ghost with long hair and one visible eye scares the shit out of her, while never actually doing anything. She finds the body of the pissed off spirit and voila! Denouement! That is basically The Ghost in a nutshell.

One thing that I’ll never understand is the concept of the ghost within Asian countries. If some creepy chick showed up in my bathroom while I was showering, all I would do is say, “Let me see your titties.” I certainly wouldn’t cower in fear and go around trying to solve mysteries.

Sadly, no one ever asks to see the ghost’s titties. No one does much questioning on this film at all, whether it be the actors, the director, the no-talent hack that wrote the movie, or even the lame fucks that gave this film its title. Seriously… The Ghost? What type of title is that? No wonder this bland, ghost-by-the-numbers flick languished on my floor for a month. I’ve seen used condoms on my floor that looked more interesting than this flick… sadly, my DVD player doesn’t play used condoms.

What possesses people to remake something that has already been done before? What possesses them to make it with less creativity and inspiration than a middle school kid writing “balls” on the inside of a bathroom stall? Why does the spellcheck on my computer keep insisting that “titties” is not a word?

We may never have answers to any of these questions, but I do have the answer to the question, “Is The Ghost any good?” The answer: “No.” It’s boring shit that seems culled from other Asian ghost flicks like The Grudge and The Ring. It’s not fascinating, gory, scary, or interesting. At this point, I find myself struggling to find something interesting to say about this film. I’ve seen Jackson Hewitt commercials that sparked the imagination more than this film.

Final Synopsis: The Ghost is as generic as its title would seem to indicate. It’s just another Asian ghost movie with nothing going for it. Seen one, seen ‘em all. Skip it.

Points Lost: -1 for being generic, -1 for being boring, -1 for a lame story, -1 for being amazingly clichéd, -1 for a lack of anything interesting, -1 for poor pacing, -1 for a predictable story

Lesson Learned: Asian people are scared of wet hair.

Burning Question: Does the hair imagery in Asian ghost flicks have anything to do with the “pube taboo”?

The Ghost
3/10

Tags: 2004, asian, asian horror, foreign, foreign horror, ghost movie, horror, horror movie, korean, latest movie reviews, pubephobia, recent, shitty movies, south korean, tae-kyeong kim