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The Gravedancers is the first film from the After Dark Horrorfest that I have watched. After picking up all 7 movies for 60 bucks at Best Buy, I was both excited and disappointed. I was excited that there were seven new horror films for me to watch. I was disappointed that I had to spend 60 bucks at one time for a series of movies. I wish they had just released all of the films singly, kind of like Master of Horror does.

Anyways, after popping in the DVD, I enjoyed began to wonder if I had just wasted 60 bucks. The look of this film is blander than the food at a Mexican restaurant that is full of white people. Everything is dull and boring… it was like watching a British sitcom, everything is lifeless and washed out. Maybe that was the look that they were going for, but I think not.

Gravedancers is the tale of three bastards that go dancing on the graves of some nefarious characters. They are followed home by these ghosts and terrorized because they have incurred some sort of curse that lasts from “moon to moon,” which is about 28 days for all you unknowledgeable bastards out there.

The look of the film is washed out and bland. So are the shots that director Mike Mendez uses. In a ghost story, where you don’t get to see things half the time, you damn well better come up with some interesting shots. While the majority of the film’s shots and angles are just as boring as the look, near the end Mendez does manage to capture a little lightning. The last half hour is completely worth sitting through all the blandness of the rest of the film. After the first twenty minutes I wanted to turn the movie off; it was that boring. Then it picked up the pace a little bit for the next forty minutes, and by the end the film basically explodes.

The acting is average at best. Dominic Purcell looks like a “roided” out Clive Owen. His head is big and creepy looking and he is altogether rather detestable. I did not like looking at him. That being said, he wasn’t terrible as Harris the protagonist of the film.

Josie Maran, on the other hand, stood out from the rest of the cast. She looks like a cross between Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron… but without the publicity-inspired child adoptions and the incest. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get naked in this movie. She must know that she has a future in Hollywood.

The best part about this movie are the ghosts. Each ghost that follows the characters home has an interesting backstory and an interesting look. I love the use of practical effects that the filmmakers decided to go with, it works for the film. The ghosts are not simply CGI characters, they are really there and spooky looking.

What doesn’t work for the film is the few spots of CGI that are sprinkled throughout the movie, especially the end. Giant ghost heads and hands are cool but only if they can be done right. This movie cam close to capturing it but in the end, I wanted something more intimate for the end of this film.

The overall feeling of this movie is like a long makeout session. Yeah, it sucks and it’s boring, but at the end you get to whip our your dick and go sploosh all over the place… you just have to put up with the foreplay for an extremely long time.

Final Synopsis: I hate ghost movies. I didn’t hate this one. If you like the slow build up of a movie this will be good for you. If you’re looking for an action packed thrill ride, this is not the movie for you. I recommend watching it if you’re a diehard horror fan… you may be disappointed, but you may love it as well.

Points Lost: -1 for making me look at Dominic Purcell, -1 for plain cinematography, set dressing and lighting, -1 for a lack of interesting visuals through most of the film, -1 for boring the pants off of me for the first twenty minutes, -1 for gigantic CGI ghost hands

Plot Holes: Three ghosts follow three characters home… even though they were clearly dancing all over the place. Each one of those bastards should have had 4 or 5 ghosts after them… unless they all danced in a line in front of certain tombstones.

Burning Question: Why do ghosts always have to have a fucked up past? I like to imagine that if Mother Teresa came back as a ghost she would be pissed off and fuck some shit up just on general principle.

The Gravedancers
5/10

Tags: 2006, after dark horrorfest, after dark horrorfest 1, after dark horrorfest 2006, after dark horrorfest i, clare kramer, dominic purcell, ghost, ghosts, horror, horror movie, josie maran, latest movie reviews, mike mendez, recent2, supernatural