The Men Who Stare at Goats wants you to believe it’s a true story, and while certainly the U.S. government has looked into paranormal methods for waging war, which is a huge waste of money, The Men Who Stare at Goats is not some groundbreaking exposé about a secret organization where people sporting special powers wage war… because special powers don’t exist. It is however a funny movie that, should you suspend your disbelief, can offer some heartfelt chuckles, but little else.

In the film, a bland and uninteresting journalist gets wind of something within the military called the New Earth Army. The journalist sets about uncovering the facts of the organization and finds a story that involves de-bleated goats, LSD, and plenty of tall tales. With the help of a former member of the organization, Lyn Cassady, who may either be completely insane or telling the truth, our journalist travels through Iraq, witnessing Cassady’s strange powers, which more often than not seem like strange coincidences… the type of luck that follows around the foolhardy. In the end, none of it really matters, and even the main character seems not to give a shit as the credits roll.

Director Grant Heslov makes the transition from eternal “that guy” status to director rather nicely. Heslov does a wonderful job of weaving together a quirky tale that is funny and captivating for most of the movie. His non-linear narrative structure is juggled nicely, and he gets out of the way of most of the stars in the film allowing them to do their best. Of course, he probably should have avoided that tactic in regards to one star, Ewan McGregor, who is definitely the weak link in the cast. The pacing is solid throughout the film and there are very few dull spots. The beginning could use a little work, but it’s not all that bad.

The cast is perhaps the best part of the film as it sports hilarious performances from George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, and Jeff Bridges. Clooney’s character is a deadpan masterpiece that he has been working on for what seems like years. This is Clooney’s comedic persona, and in The Men Who Stare at Goats, all the pieces seem to come together for him. Jeff Bridges is the other true star of the film, in a somewhat familiar role. Bridges plays new age military man, Bill Django. In what is obviously a Dude-esque performance, Bridges channels that part of himself that made The Big Lebowski such a cult success. He’s not on the screen nearly enough, but when he is on the screen, you definitely notice. Kevin Spacey, is in a similar boat with Bridges, solid performance, but not enough screentime. If only the film’s star, Ewan McGregor had been half as good as any of the previously mentioned actors, this movie might actually be worth more than a casual perusal.

While The Men Who Stare at Goats might give you a couple of laughs here and there, it has no true staying power. The performances of Clooney, Spacey, and Bridges are all too brief, and will prevent you from ever wanting to see the movie again. Wait for DVD for this one, because the theater experience adds nothing to the film.

Final Synopsis: It’s got a couple of laughs in it, but you don’t need to go out of your way to see this movie. Wait for it to come to you.

Points Lost: -1 for Ewan McGregor, -1 for not enough Bridges and Spacey, -1 for a weak beginning, -1 for the whole it’s true angle

Lesson Learned: Barney is considered torture.

Burning Question: Do you have any special powers the army can use?

The Men Who Stare at Goats
6/10

Tags: 2009, comedy, ewan mcgregor, george clooney, grant heslov, Jeff Bridges, kevin spacey, killing goats, superpowers