I can only look at a film like The Tournament and shake my head… not because it’s bad or anything, but because ball-less action flicks like The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 and The Condemned can somehow manage to find their way into theaters, but a truly masterful action flick like The Tournament is merely shuffled off to the land of straight to DVD releases. This action flick is an instant classic, and anyone who loves action movies should simply pony up the cash right now and buy the film. It’s easily one of the best action flicks of the year, and if it wasn’t for Gamer’s over-the-top excess and Crank 2’s ridiculous action, it would be. But 3rd place, compared to those two movies, isn’t all that bad. For those of you that were disappointed by Ong-Bak 2, here is the film that it should have been.

The Tournament has one of those simple, but great, premises. A group of assassins is lured to a city to duke it out. The prize? Fame and fortune… or ten million bucks and the right to call yourself the World’s Greates Assassin. The premise is strong enough, but they misguidedly insert some lame backstories into the film involving a female assassin’s last hit and the former champion’s dead wife. It’s weak at best and detracts from what is the best part of the movie, which is all the amazing stuntwork and killer special effects.

The action scenes in The Tournament are simply amazing to watch. You know that phrase “take your breath away?” Well that actually happened to me in this film. I was watching a car speed at some dude lying in the mud, and I’m all like “Holy fuck, there’s no way that car can stop in time. That motherfucker is getting run over!” I was right. There was no way the dude was going to get out of the way, but the way in which the problem is solved might be one of the top ten stunts in film history. If that was the only stunt in the movie it would be worth checking out, but there is so much more in this movie.

The fight scenes are bloody, the kills are plentiful and there are an amazing amount of meat showers. The fight choreography and planning that went into the action scenes in this film are simply astounding. People explode, limbs get severed, and blood is splattered everywhere. For those that want their action mindless, over-the-top, and irrefutably entertaining, you can’t beat The Tournament… or its awesome strip club shootout extravaganza.

Scott Mann is a great director in the visuals department. His scenes pop with life and color, and the speed with which he tells his tale is definitely a nice boost. There are very few lulls in the action. The only problem with Mann’s flick is that some of the actors are allowed to talk and some of the subplots are simply distractions. The subplots get in the way too often. The film is already interesting enough. I want to watch 30 assassins go out of their way to kill each other… I don’t want to watch some drunk priest find redemption.

The cast of the film isn’t necessarily a strong suit. Ving Rhames (Con Air, Dawn of the Dead ’04), who hasn’t been badass for quite some time now, might be the worst person in the cast. He’s easily the most recognizable, but his performance is atrocious. The end of the film is completely ruined by Rhames’ cracking voice doing one of the worst over-acting jobs I’ve seen in recent memory. Kelly Hu is also pretty bad, but she has the whole language barrier to explain away her choppy line delivery.

The cast isn’t the greatest and the story is unnecessarily cluttered, but The Tournament is a sick action fest piled high with stunts that will have you shitting in your pants. Sebastian Foucan, the French fuck who invented Parcour, is simply amazing to watch. You’ll kind of wish they had made him the star of the movie… and he doesn’t say a single line. This is the type of movie that you discover and invite all of your friends over to watch. I’ll be scoring a copy of this very soon. If only it had been released in theaters, everyone would know its greatness.

Final Synopsis: If I’m making a top ten action flicks of the 2000’s, this one is definitely in the top five. Do yourself a favor and buy this movie.

Points Lost: -1 for Ving Rhames, -1 for weak subplots that detract from the fun of watching 30 assassins trying to kill each other, -1 for weak acting all around

Bonus Points: +1 for unforgettable stuntwork and special effects

Lesson Learned: Always keep something over your coffee when you’re not actively drinking it… like a playing card or something.

Burning Question: Why the fuck is Ving Rhames in this movie at all? They could have cut his character out of the film completely… or at least his lines of dialogue.

The Tournament
8/10

Tags: 2009, action, adventure, assassins, brutality, exploding humans, ian somerhalder, kelly hu, latest movie reviews, meat shower, rachel grant, recent3, robert carlyle, scott adkins, scott mann, sebastien foucan, strip club shootout, topless assassin, ultra-violence, ving rhames