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Recently, the Dimension Extreme line released a remake of the classically bad Wizard of Gore film by Herschell Gordon Lewis. However the people that remade the movie decided to take liberties with the property and gave the public a movie that was more of a product placement for the Suicide Girls then anything else.

This time around, The Wizard of Gore is about a rich fucker (Kip Pardue) who runs an “underground” newspaper. One night while searching for a story to publish in his paper with his girlfriend (Bijou Phillips), said fucker stumbles upon a bunch of screwheads that tell him about Montag the Magnificent (Crispin Glover; equipped with a distracting cod piece). Like in the original, Montag is taking chicks from the crowd, each of who are Suicide Girls, and performing his illusions on them. However, this time around, Montag says some retarded line like, “Sit down, Bitch. Tonight, you die,” (or something like that) before he gets them on stage to perform the trick. Again, after the tricks are performed the girls turn up dead and the “reporter” takes it upon himself to investigate these killings.

Now, how about we think of things that are good about this movie… hmmm, well, for the most part, the Suicide Girls are… cute? Some are, but the top billing goes to the one legged Suicide Girl with nice boobs. Other than that the only thing this movie really has going for it are the illusions. They are pretty brutal, but that’s about it.

And now we venture into what-is-wrong-with-this-movie-land. And oh boy is there a lot. The acting in the film you can basically forget about. It’s either piss poor or supremely overacted (Crispin Glover takes the cake for that one). Another thing is that the films largely wastes Jeffery Combs’ and Brad Dourif’s acting talent by giving them horrible characters to play. Dourif’s character is basically used to give information to Kip Pardue about a drug that he is a major supplier of (you can guess where that information goes to in the end). Combs’ character startles the crowd by eating maggots and biting the heads off of rats, which in all honesty isn’t that startling with the weird shit that is put on television… or if you’re a Black Sabbath fan. Another problem with Combs’ character is that he gives a Scooby Doo type speech at the end that is completely idiotic and makes the viewer want to toss this shitty movie out a window. But all of this isn’t the major problem for the film. That comes from the fact that instead of making it a horror movie, they decided to make it a Film Noir movie that has a mystery that can easily be solved by a monkey. The direction by Jeremy Kasten (who if you watch the special features looks like a younger, less talented Gene Simmons) is only mediocre at best and doesn’t really do a damn thing to help this movie out.

In the end, if you want to see The Wizard of Gore, you just might as well get the older one. It’s actually far superior then this version and you can laugh your ass off at it, whereas this one just makes you cringe at the shittiness.

Final Synopsis: Skip it. Get the original and watch that instead.

Points Lost: -1 for poor acting. -1 for poor writing. -2 wasting Combs and Dourif. -1 for some over the top acting by Crispin Glover… and his distracting cod piece. -1 for taking an awesomely bad movie and making it shit. -1 for mediocre directing.

Lesson Learned: Don’t get up during a magic show.

Burning Question: Does watching this movie cause cancer?

The Wizard of Gore (2007)
3/10

Tags: 2007, bijou phillips, brad dourif, crispin glover, film noir, horror, jeffrey combs, Jeremy Kasten, Kip Pardue, latest movie reviews, one legged chick with nice boobs, recent, recent1, Remake, shitty movie, Suicide Girls