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Untraceable is another in a long stream of crime thrillers involving a mysterious killer and some cat and mouse hijinks. The film is a by the numbers story that is buoyed by some quality performances, but little else in the way of creativity. If you’ve seen one of these types of films, you’ve seen them all.

The film is based in Portland, Oregon, a rainy shithole full of trendy fuckers. Jennifer Marsh is a single mother coping with some issues from her past as she attempts to capture bad guys by using rudimentary internet research to pin down child molesters and people committing petty fraud. When an actual case that involves life and death comes across her desk, she finds herself woefully inadequate for the task and as she inches closer with each seemingly accidental bit of information, she becomes the target of an “insane killer” who likes to capture fuckers and put them in slow situations of death. Of course, all of these scenarios are filmed and put on the internet and the more visitors the website gets, the faster the victim dies.

The worst part about this movie is the killer. Not only is the killer not surprising, but he is revealed halfway through the movie deflating any of the tension that the movie had built up. The killer’s motivations are weak and completely clichéd. In the end the, killer comes off as a spoiled brat and the end of the movie is anything but cathartic. Even now I struggle to remember how the movie ended, just because it is so generic, so overdone, and about as creative as getting someone a card for Valentine’s Day.

The direction of the film is technically solid and much of the city of Portland is used to great effect. The visuals are a little weak at times, and when the film becomes violent it bitches out completely. There are a few disturbing moments, but for the majority of the film people are just clicking their mouse and talking about IP addresses. Untraceable is quite a disappointment considering the track record of Gregory Hoblit who has brought us quality films like Fallen and Fracture. There comes a time when, as a director, you have to stand back and say “How can I make this better?” With a little effort, some creativity, and a dose of originality Untraceable could have been a really solid movie. As it is, it’s a computer jargon laced flick that seems designed to baffle older viewers and beguile them into thinking that there is something more to the film.

The acting is the best part of the movie. Diane Lane is great as Jennifer Marsh and I’ve never seen a more expressive “old lady neck” in my life. It’s almost as if her chicken gizzard decided to emote almost completely on its own. Colin Hanks, of all people, actually puts together a solid performance as Griffin Dowd, Marsh’s geeky computer partner who has a penchant for picking up sluts on the internet. Hanks provides much of the comic relief in the film and keeps this movie from being a complete dud. The killer does a fairly good job of acting, but the character is poorly written and uninteresting, which is a shame because the actor could have clearly done more with the part if it was written better.

Untraceable is basically a heartless version of films like Silence of the Lambs and Se7en… only it forgets to supply any emotion and any real reason for its own existence other than an in your face “the Internet is evil message.” Old fuckers that don’t know how to use computers may fall for Untraceable’s unbelievable tricks, but anyone that knows what’s going on will be disheartened by the unintelligence of the film.

Final Synopsis: The film has a great cast and a director capable of so much more. The story is bland and generic and isn’t worth wasting your money on. Skip this shit and download donkey punch videos instead. Good times.

Points Lost: -1 for lame killer, -1 for no originality, -1 for the weak “Internet is bad” message, -1 for boring imagery, -1 for some plot holes, -1 for revealing the killer in the first half of the movie… not knowing who the killer was is the only thing the film really has going for it

Lesson Learned: When some dude you don’t know says he has a free ticket to a hockey game, don’t go.

Burning Question: Anyone else want to scream “Don’t tase me bro!” during the film?

Untraceable
4/10

Tags: 2008, crime, crime thriller, diane lane, drama, gregory hoblit, joseph cross, latest movie review, recent2, thriller