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Weird Science is one of those flicks that you either get or don’t get. Odds are if you were ever a teenage boy, you get it… most other people will be left out in the cold on this movie. The film is basically a snapshot of what a teenage boy’s life would be like if all their dreams came true. They’d have a hot slut, who they cold tag team with their buddy at their discretion. They can throw outrageously wild parties, score with a couple of whorebags, and punish their older siblings for being assholes, all while getting hammered and cruising around in high end sports cars with no repercussions. Basically, it’s everything you wish your life was if you were a teenage boy, and this is why it holds up so well.

Weird Science is the tale of two friends, Gary and Wyatt, a couple of losers living in Shermer, Illinois who fantasize about banging some chicks, despite the fact that they are anal losers. One day Wyatt’s parents go away, and being inspired by a colorized version of Frankenstein on the TV, they decide to use Wyatt’s computer to craft their very own woman in one of the most amazing “that’s not how computers work” scenes ever put on screen. Their new woman has the brain of Einstein, the body of a super model, and the seemingly endless power to make the guys’ dreams come true. With their woman in tow, Gary and Wyatt set about becoming the coolest dudes at Shermer High School, scoring some babes, and teaching their amazing dipshit brother Chet some lessons.

John Hughes, who would later turn into a shell of himself after such box office flops as Uncle Buck and Curly Sue, was at the top of his game with Weird Science. Following such commercial successes as The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, Hughes was primed for yet another big score with Weird Science, his opus to the horny male teenager condition. Hughes’ film is a pure bit of fantasy, which posits the question “What do a couple of 15 year old boys do with a 23 year old woman that they control?” They shower with her… while wearing their jeans. While my older, more mature mind can think of any number of things to do to a woman in a shower, it’s not that difficult to relate to the awkwardness of the film’s two leads as brilliantly portrayed by Hughes. Hughes’ Weird Science may be completely over the top and ridiculous, but it does offer a nice escape of what could be tempered with an understanding of the awkward adolescent mind.

The cast is excellent and comprised of plenty of actors who would go on to do other work, though of varying degree of quality. Anthony Michael Hall plays Gary with an odd bravado that makes his loser-ness all the more hilarious. Hall is a little over the top in a couple of scenes, and he tries to force funny in a few spots, but for the most part he’s pretty solid, with his highlight being the scene where he claims he never “tossed off” in the bathroom. Ilan Mitchell Smith is a perfect foil for Gary, a more feminine version of a teenage boy, who embodies the sensitivity and awkwardness that accompanies prepubescence. Then you have Kelly LeBrock as Lisa, who despite being a supermodel, gives a fairly solid performance. Robert Downey Jr. and Robert Rusler also do a great job of being the “popular guys” in the film.

The true star of the film is Bill Paxton as Wyatt’s unloving and bastardly brother Chet, who “gets off on” being a raging asshole. Paxton plays the role with such relish that it’s hard to believe a franchise didn’t pop up around the character. Let it never be said that Paxton, director of Fish Heads (If you don’t know what this is, YouTube it.), doesn’t know how to do comedy, because his scenes in Weird Science are worth the price of the film itself.

While some of the humor of Weird Science may have faded over time with the current trend in no-limits humor hitting the theaters in the form of high school comedies that are laced with more bathroom humor than a frat house, Weird Science still shines through in the familiarity department. Sure, some of the jokes may have faded in impact, but this is a film that teenagers and even adults waxing nostalgic can still relate to. Plus, there’s a giant turd monster… how can you go wrong with that?

Final Synopsis: Weird Science rocks. Check the film out if you’ve never seen it and you were at one time a teenage boy. If you’re a woman, there’s a 10% chance that you’ll like this. You should still watch it though… because uhh… just cuz.

Points Lost: -1 for some stupid humor, -1 for Anthony Michael Hall trying to hard in a couple of scenes, -1 for appealing to only one half of the human race

Bonus Points: +1 for Bill Paxton as Chet… “You’re stewed, buttwad!”

Lesson Learned: Always hook up the doll.

Burning Question: Who here wouldn’t have violated Lisa within thirty seconds of figuring out that you had made an actual living woman from scratch?

Weird Science
8/10

Tags: 1985, anthony michael hall, bill paxton, comedy, ilan mitchell smith, judie aronson, kelly lebrock, latest movie reviews, michael berryman, recent, Robert Downey Jr., robert rusler, sci-fi, sci-fi movie, shower with a woman, steve james, suzanne snyder, vernon wells