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Adam Sandler’s career has gone downhill over the last couple of years. Call it maturity, call it growing up, or call it someone out of ideas, but Sandler’s latest flick is just as disappointing as his last few movies. Sure it has a few good moments, and Sandler attempts to go back in time and recapture some of the bawdiness and irreverence that he became known for, but for the most part the film is like when parents drop their kids off at the dorm for the first time and they try and act “hip” and “cool” in front of the other college kids. Yeah, the parents are having a good time and feeling good about themselves, but they wind up making everyone else feel uncomfortable… and then they pull off their shorts and you have to see someone’s dad’s old-man butt cheeks.

The film’s premise is wacky and creative, but poorly executed. Sandler plays a super Israeli agent named Zohan, who is capable of out swimming a Ski-Doo, flying across rooms, and completely dismantling a sub-machine gun in 5 seconds. Of course, Zohan’s gifts lie not in the fighting terrorism department, but more in the lady pleasuring/hair-styling department. Zohan fakes his own death and moves to New York City to pursue his dream of being a hair-stylist. He must combat his own prejudices and everyone else’s around him in order to make it in the fucked up salad bowl of cultures that is New York City.

The one thing that is missing from Don’t Mess with the Zohan is the energy. The film plods along, dishing out jokes about erections and old-lady pleasuring that become tiresome after a while. The racial humor in the film does nothing to alleviate the boredom of the flick, as characters play out annoying racial stereotypes and basically make asses out of themselves. It’s hard to find anything in the film offensive since it is such a goofy endeavor, but it’s even harder to truly enjoy Sandler’s latest cinematic reel of stupidity.

The film is adequately directed by Dennis Dugan, who brings a professional look to the film. Many of the visual gags in the film work thanks to the excellent set-ups and the fresh look that Duggan supplies. There aren’t enough of these moments to make you forget just how lame the humor in the movie actually is, but they provide the only true laughter in the film. The pace of the film and the overall story falls apart after the first hour, when the story tries to salvage all of its racist bullshit and sweep it under the rug by getting groups of Palestinian and Israeli immigrants together to cooperate against… you guessed it, the oppressive white dude.

The acting in the film is excellent, and the character that Sandler creates is unforgettable… but only slightly less annoying than his “Little Nicky” character. The weak-minded will probably find themselves walking out of the theater talking like Sandler and his unfunny cohorts. Nick Swardson is serviceable but completely wasted as Zohan’s buddy. He gets very little face time and for the most part his gags are relegated to making faces while Zohan bangs his mom. John Turturro provides some of the best moments in the film as Zohan’s arch-nemesis The Phantom, a Palestinian terrorist. If the film had been boiled down to Zohan and The Phantom fighting each other, it might have been good… but instead, all we get is a bunch of Adam Sandler rubbing his crotch in old ladies’ faces.

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan unsuccessfully tries to hearken back to the good old days of Adam Sandler’s career. Sadly, Sandler seems to have forgotten what made those early films work… he was himself, not a gimmicky douche bag with a silly accent. At the end of the day, I wish I hadn’t messed with Zohan… so at least, it’s aptly titled.

Final Synopsis: You Don’t Mess with Zohan has a few laughs in it and the film’s first 20 minutes are top notch comedy. After that the film is a complete, unfunny mess. Skip this shit, unless racial humor gives you a stiffy.

Points Lost: -1 for weak racial humor, -1 for bad pacing, -1 for a super bland last half hour, -1 for being unable to recreate the magic of early Sandler flicks, -1 for wasting Nick Swardson

Lesson Learned: It sucks when you get old and stop being funny… just ask Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Jim Carrey… the list goes on and on.

Burning Question: How does one come up with an idea for something like You Don’t Mess with the Zohan?

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
5/10

Tags: 2008, adam sandler, bruce valanch, chris rock, comedy, dave matthews, dennis dugan, dom deluise, george takei, john farley, john mcenroe, john turturro, kevin james, kevin nealon, latest movie reviews, mariah carey, michael buffer, nick swardson, recent2, Rob Schneider, robert smigel, shitty comedy